May 10, 2014

Happy Mother's Day 2014

It doesn't happen often, but sometimes I have dreams about babies. A few weeks ago, I was having a dream so lovely that when the alarm sounded, I asked Blaine to let me keep sleeping so I could see it all the way through. What was so great about the dream? I was holding a crying baby.

This little bite-size was SCREAMING up a storm. I was rocking her and holding her and trying to calm her down. With no luck.

My mom came into the room and stood behind me. She put her arm on my arm and reminded me that the baby was used to a heart beat. She told me that I just needed to hold her a little closer to help her calm down, that if baby could hear and feel my heart she would relax.

I held the little girl close to my body and it worked like a charm. It was such a tender assurance, to have my mom next to me, showing me how to be a mother. And even though this little tiny one was crying, it was a dream and not a nightmare because there was something so comforting, standing there, rocking a baby. And while the dream was about this baby in my arms, it was also about the woman beside me. We were three generations together in a space, making sense of each other.

I'm not yet a mother, but I do have an amazing mother of my own.

Happy Mother's Day, my lovely mama. You have prepared me in every way to take on the daunting task of motherhood when I am given the chance. I am grateful to have you nearby, to share a hometown with you. I am glad for Bunco and book club and Sunday dinners. I am glad for drink runs and shopping trips and hand me down clothes.

You are a wonderful mom. You have taught all my sisters how to be the same. I am not scared of motherhood because I have seen you tackle it with gusto and grace.

Love you.
My cute nephew in his grandma's arms. Such a beautiful picture of a beautiful lady.

1 comment: