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My Place

I am trying to find my place in the world. Two years ago, I changed jobs. I have always defined myself as a teacher. It's not what I do, it is who I am. So when I moved to the district office, to the "dark side" as my teacher-friends called it, I felt a bit lost. A few months after changing jobs, my husband and I made the choice to buy my childhood home. He was all in, and I was hesitant. Life, I know, is always about change, but I am just so tired of moving forward. There is something to be said, too, about breaking out of the world you know. Am I making my world too small, to move back to where I began?

The move was hard. I left my neighbors and friends, the people who have known my children since that very first day. The first day we walked into church as a family of six, all my little boys were wearing boots. One of them had pee down the front of his pants. Buzz cuts and new socks and hesitant smiles. We walked into that room and said, "Hey. We're parents no…
Recent posts

Courage Needed

I’ve been an Innovation Specialist for one year; here’s what it has taught me. I have been an Innovation Specialist for one year. In this time, I have only scratched the surface of what it means to have this role. I am beginning to understand teachers and students at higher levels. On a given day, I have brief moments in which I believe I have cracked the code: I know what to do and I know how to help and I can acutely see how one small pivot will make a difference in our school district. And then, a little hiccup hits the next day and I realize just how little I know. In the past year, I have been in 5 schools, dozens and dozens of classrooms, and held individualized learning sessions with teachers and teachers and teachers. I love it.
I work in Google Drive and Facebook and Twitter. I work from my phone, and my MacBook, and my iPad. Every day is different because every day is focused on meeting the needs of my teachers. There are quiet days where I can focus on the projects that ar…

I Submitted My First Micro-credential Today

During my ten years as a classroom teacher, I kept a bright orange poster on display that asked two critical questions: Do you know it?Can you show it? Part of my new job as Innovation Specialist includes rethinking professional development for our school district. At the forefront of this conversation is that of micro-credentials; the platform being offered by Digital Promise is most interesting to me because it allows teachers to show what they know in a public way.
In February, as I was preparing to apply for my new job, I started exploring. I signed up for an account at Bloomboard and tagged credentials of interest. I started a few. And then stopped. I was overwhelmed. I doubted myself. I ran out of a time. I originally read the details of each micro-credential and felt confident that I could demonstrate my proficiency. Then I became scared.
Today, my office is quiet. Most of the staff has gone to a conference. This morning, I sat down at my computer and completed the three micro-…

All Good Things

I am packing up my classroom bit by bit and folder by folder. Most of the contents of folders are ending up in the recycling bin. They were good ideas at the time, but so much time has passed since I first stepped into this classroom. I have to cherish the teacher I have become while not losing sight of the teacher I was. I treasure my time as a new teacher. I value becoming a veteran. I have classroom war stories, like the time a student climbed up my wall of windows like a monkey, just to see if he could. Or the time that students kidnapped Bear and left a ransom note in his place. All good things.
Bear is in desperate need of help.
My first year teaching, students completed tasks whose answers were completely “Google-able.” There were enormous point values attached to each. 100 points for a book project. Students earned points simply for completing the project. There were no standards. The 2006 ELA core was “new” and the targets were simple. We were learning, all of us together. I …

What Do I Want Out of Life?

While cleaning out my desk I came across a piece of my writing from 2009. I thought I would share it here. :)

What Do I Want Out of Life?

In the long run?
A home
A family
A Friday night date

Someone who loves me more
Than I have ever loved

A goodnight kiss
Hot chocolate at midnight

A miracle

Early morning breezes
And bike rides
Pumpkin cake and cream cheese frosting

Little wiggly toes to tickle.
Laughter at bedtime
A tiny someone who has my eyes.

Peace.

Littles

Today, June 29, is the year mark from the day I became a mom.

My entire life has been a series of tender mercies. I am still convinced that I was given my scholarship to Westminster simply because Heavenly Father knew that as a teenager, my tendency was to give up if things were too hard, and He knew I needed to be a teacher.

When I moved to Nephi, I was given a great job simply because the Lord knew that I needed to be HOME in order to sort out the mess I was making of my life. It worked.

Shortly after falling in love with Blaine, I became his Mrs. without hesitation. Our relationship is now and always has been EASY. We knew that we could build a happy life, that we could build a beautiful forever and so we did. We are.
We found an incredible home with room to grow. Purchased at auction, we marveled at the home and tried to think of how we could possibly fill five bedrooms. A tender mercy.

In February of last year, my sister called and talked to me about a possible adoption. There w…

Happy Mother's Day 2014

It doesn't happen often, but sometimes I have dreams about babies. A few weeks ago, I was having a dream so lovely that when the alarm sounded, I asked Blaine to let me keep sleeping so I could see it all the way through. What was so great about the dream? I was holding a crying baby.

This little bite-size was SCREAMING up a storm. I was rocking her and holding her and trying to calm her down. With no luck.

My mom came into the room and stood behind me. She put her arm on my arm and reminded me that the baby was used to a heart beat. She told me that I just needed to hold her a little closer to help her calm down, that if baby could hear and feel my heart she would relax.

I held the little girl close to my body and it worked like a charm. It was such a tender assurance, to have my mom next to me, showing me how to be a mother. And even though this little tiny one was crying, it was a dream and not a nightmare because there was something so comforting, standing there, rocking a bab…